Feel free to discuss anything and everything I write about :)  

I won't block off my blogs when I write stuff for fear of some retort that will get my panties in a bunch.

I welcome ALL posters here

Theres nothing wrong with taking a little criticism in ones life. We all fuck up from time to time. Not one of us is perfect in what we do.

Hell I may tell a joke that no one likes... and get a ' YOU SUCK '  from someone.  Well at that point in time .. on that joke.. I did suck.  Did a tear roll down my cheek?   No .. Did I crawl into a fetal position? No....

I will learn that idiots like that person have no sense of humor and need to be aborted in the 23rd trimester.....  that aside I will go and work on said sucky joke :)

To get bent out of shape because of one person's ramblings just shows a weakness in a personality.  Maybe because they fuck up daily .. or fucked up one HUGE thing....  who knows. But for some reason that personality just cannot accept they fuck up. 

Constructive criticism isnt an attack... it is mostly a tool to point out a severely obvious flaw in a nice way...

..carry on

Sorry I have been neglecting the blog folks :)

This goes out to the fucking morons out there... and you know who you are...

well mebbe not since your fucking morons... and usually don't know you are until you are told that you are.... but anyway....

Children should be buckled into their safety seats and seat belts ....

AT ALL FUCKING TIMES!!!!!

not some of the time....

not for fucking " short trips "...

BUT  EVERY TIME YOU GET IN YOUR GOD DAMNED CAR!!!! 

God dammit I get pissed because morons are usually blessed with a high sperm count... and tend to father amazing and beautiful children... Only to squander their treasures by being FUCKING IDIOTS!!!! 

Leaving them home to goto a store... or not buckling them into their car seats... because as morons do they take everything for granted.

**DORE TEE DORE!!! LOOKIT ME IM A FUGGIN MORE-ON AND I DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER THAN TO STRAP MY CHILD IN A SIMPLE SEAT CAUSE IM A LAZY FUCKING BASTARD....DORE TEE DORE!!!!**

Not my best impression but you get the gist......

carry on

Welp

Im down in Florida now......   and I m ready to see if I have the stones to jump into this comedy/ acting thing... starting out at 35 tho makes me worry but fuck it...  Henny Youngman was doing it up until he died an old man :)

But gotta in front of a buncha folks... strangers .. and see if I can grab a chuckle or two ......

I took the nick name COMEDYMAN because it what I like to do .. make folks laugh.

checked SideSplitters here in Tampa  they have an open mic .. third thursday every month tho... come up with 5 minutes of PG ( im real blue) material  

Theresa several comedy Clubs here in Tampa. I will be checking them all out to see whats up :)

never mind

OK Im 34 I am 6 foot around 275. Big Stocky Strong..... and I love this damn game!!!!  My big shambling frame dancing on the plastic pads trying to match the arrows to the beat.  If anyone doesnt know the game.. its a PS2 game called Dance Dance Revolution or DDR  some Jap import to the US from PS and its addicting as hell!!!  Great mix music. and you have this big platic pad with arrows and corresponding PS game controls that you use your feet to operate. The arrows come up the screen and when they reach the top you tap the pad accordingly and it gives you a quick rating to see if you hit the arrow on the right beat. They are all over the place on EBAY I got the pads and the game for like 35 bucks total.

I think i have lost like 5 or 6 lbs since I got it a couple weeks ago!!!  Cause I will be walking by to grab a glass of water and I will have to turn it on and run a quick game... next thing I know half hour has went by and Im sweating all over the place.

I definately recommend this to any and everyone trying to lose a few pounds... cause this damn thing will do it for ya... you will definitely get your CV's in daily with this game.

Oh and I didnt goto the last poker game.. and this weeks is canceled.  so shit !!!

Welp this evening Im gonna play some Texas Holdem Poker at a game my cousin found in town here. 

Im in West Virginia and the morons at the State senate killed a bill that would have let table games like Holdem and Blackjack into the dogtracks they have here.  God forbid this god damned backward ass state  do something progressive. These idiots around here need to get over that John Denver song. take me home Country Roads... needs to be replaced with Fix My roads with some gambling revenue and hey lets get some butts in the seats here in this state.... but that title is way too long...

But ill let those who read my Blog know If i did any good

Sorry I have been away :)

I noticed in the comments of my last blog that BOOBIES came up!!!!

And it is true .. i DO love

boobies

ta ta's 

fun bags

titties

knockers

and the little used... lifegivers

hell one of my favorite sites is http://www.ratemymelons.com" title="http://www.ratemymelons.com" target="_blank"http://www.ratemymelons.com... I suggest all of you girls post there :)

I have always liked boobies :) I think they are one of the Maker's greatest creations.  They are soft and fun to play with and I enjoy cuddling up to a busty girl in the evenings and going to sleep with my hand touching a nice boobie.  I am fond of big boobs but All boobs are great!! :)

God Bless you girls and your boobies!!!!

Ahh Springtime....  If florida right now the temps are hitting 80's and Sunny.  Spring breakers are flowing into Daytona and your work week is planned around the weekend beach visit for sunbathing and boobie oogling.  But where am I?   In fucking West Virginia.  Temp this morning was fucking 35 and its not going to hit 50 today. Not much of a rant... just sucks is all :D 

Welp a week ago my father had a mild heart attack  and it was due to smoking.  He is in great health for a man of 55 except for the smoking habit, which he bagan when he was 27. He smoked about two packs aday. Now the heart attack scared the shit out of him and he tossed his cigs and lighter out the window on the way home from the hospital.  Im going to scan his xrays soon and post here as an incentive for any of my blog readers who smoke. Shows a before and after pic.

His arteries to his heart looked like bowties they were cut off so bad. The doc said it was a miracle that he did have a massive attack. He had 4 stints put into the arteries around his heart. A stint is a wire mesh tube that they place into the artery and expand it outward to open the artery up and allow greater bloodflow. They do this by going  into the femeral artery in your leg.  then they run a LONG tube with the stint at the end of it through your body and find the blockage at the heart.  This is done without anesthesia and you can feel it running through your bod. My father said they poke it in there pretty hard each time.

To the blog readers who do smoke. Please cut that shit out. Especially if your young.  Smoking is a stupid habit. What ever reason you started isnt going to mean shit when they are carting you off in an ambulance or tagging your toe. I never started smoking and damn sure am not going to start.

I meant to address this early on :)   Why does COMEDYMAN have teen girls clothing links on his Blog...

well I noticed the demogrpahic here at tblog was mostly female and mostly teens and early 20s so I figured in my ever vigiliant quest for revenue generation ( so I can buy a thesaurus apparently ) I would put up links to clothings stores for what visitors i received.  

So COMEDYMAN isn't a teen girl freak... just wanting their money lol ;)

Ahh the wierd shit flows in my brain.....

If you fart during communion is it a sin?  " The body of christ...BRRRAAAAAPPPPPP!!!!.... the blood of christ..."  thing is Im not even Catholic.

I hear old timers say there's nothing new in the Bible.. I can't remeber the actual saying... but the translation is .. the Bible has everything that will ever be in it.   Thing is if that was the case if Jesus affected so many people like he did his PDA would have been full don't you think.. Im sure someone would have called during the crucifixtion on his cell.. but yet they don't mention that in the Bible.... Preaching on the mount? why didn't he just Email it?

Hmmmm It seems that Catholic priests are a bunch of beauticians as well... because its ok to split hairs about fucking a little choir boy instead of a woman. You know why the " church " outlawed sex ... because these old fucking cardnials couldnt get it up anymore and said .. fuck it.. if im not getting laid NOONE is!!!" 

If there is a God it is proven in the fact that females exist, in my opinion one of the creators best achievements...

Ahh the Mormons..... The "latter day saints"  jesus appeared to the Indians huh.. you think he would have given the heads up WE were showing up.. ya know.  I think it was in the Mormon Book of Steinbrenner that Jesus caught a pop fly in the '74 world series to take the pennant.  That makes about as much sense as any other Mormon teaching.....It's nice that Mormons are allowed the wives thing.. Good religion if you like alotta pussy. Jeez

I know Im down and joking about religion on this one but if God gave us the brains that he did.. don't you think hed want us to use it a little.  Instead people follow blindly the rantings of any random fuck on a pulpit and a little charisma.  The fact that Mormons have any pull as a "religion"  is just extremely absurd.  Now what ever gives you that good feeling in your heart on Sunday ( or Saturday for you 7th Day Adventists ) More power to you. 

me personally I follow the religion of Fuck.....

"God is a fucking nice guy"

"Don't fuck with anyone and do not let anyone fuck with you"

" ask forgiveness when you fuck up"

Pretty simple cut and dry and not a bunch of ritual as in the catholic church or penecostal testing of your faith.

When it comes to your higher power... choose it for yourself... don't be led like sheep.... thats how alotta people get fleeced ;)

ahhh fuck it... the more I thought about it .. I have bigger fish to fry than worry about a confrontation that may or may not happen.... fuck that theiving bastard ;) if he speaks ill just tell him to go fuck himself and continue work lol

Hatred.....

I know I keep a lotta of it inside me... funny with a nick name like Comedyman.   I do enjoy making people laugh, but its just that the people in my life that have fucked me over or fucked over my younger brother i tend carry a hatred for them.

take my cousin that fucked me and my brother over huge and tried to lay the blame of a failed biz on our laps when he was coking up and stealing the cash.... now I really hate this cocksucker... hes not even blood to me and I really do not care if he lives or he dies.

But possibly tomorrow and for a few weeks I will be working and possibly be in his vicinity more than once... now I have avoided confrontation with this prick, to the point of avoiding my grandparents since he is a constant visitor there, since 1997.

I have played out this potential meeting in my head a thousand times... each one ending me in handcuffs unfortunately... I can't bring myself to be the better man here and let shit drop. I mean fuck im 34 .... but Im afraid its not gonna happen.. his fuck over was most vile because he did it to family.

I thought if I would write this out it might help me find a peaceful center to draw on. It has some... but I just know he will say something prickish... I have already told myself I will not goto jail because of this bitch.  He is the sue happy type to boot and would press charges if I even pushed him.  But god forbit he touches me in ANY way.... I am going to scream self defense as I proceed to beat him unconcious... BUT what can ya do? :) just deal with that situation when I come to it.

I do have to work on this hatred thing tho.. I mean its not really hurting anyone but me. No one suffers due me hating them.. they don't feel it so why fucking bother.... I dunno mebbe one day I can alleviate these bullshit negative feelings :)

So If I don't blog for a while you know what happened tomorrow .. I dont think let you blog in jail  lol

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!''

The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''

:)

Some things I hate

head games

tuna

wintertime

snow

young punks with their car daddy bought them tearing ass out of a video store parking lot

young punks  ( showing my advanced years ) ( and i was young once but i wasnt a punk )

good women married or attached to fucking useless asshole men
( little side lesson to all the guys here, you know why these beautiful girls get attached to these fucking assholes.... well first the assholes asked them OUT!! and secondly.  Girls dig the confidence level that usually is attached to the asshole personality.  Just that as the relationship progresses girls tire or the assholes antics and selfishness.  So in Short,  you can be the timid sweetheart of a guy, but be a man about it.

people who are cruel to animals for the sake of being cruel  ( if you can hurt a cat or a dog for no reason only  amatter oftime until you graduate to people )

Family members who talk shit behind your back. ( its all good to your face but get around other people and they dog you.  I just found out that when came north and I was staying with my cousin after the Hurricanes last year that it wasnt a few weeks that he was over at his girlfriends family talking shit about me. If he didnt want me staying there he should have just fucking said it to my face and I would have made other arrangements. So much for family loyalty. 

Family members who fuck you over ( that story is so long it isnt even funny, involves another cousin and. Little side lesson there.... don't trust a fucking soul.  If your family will fuck you over, who DO you trust.)

ahhh thats enough venting for one day....better temper this rant witha joke....

a grandfather and a grandson are sitting together on a porch and the grandfather opens up a beer and takes a long swig seeing this as his chance he asks his grandfather hey can i have some of that? well can your dick touch your asshole? the grandfather asks the boy . uhhh no the boy says well then no sunny the grandfather says two days later this happens again and then to weeks then the boy comes back again with a big box of cookies hey can i have one of those son? the grandfather asks . well the grandson panders can your dick touch your asshole? well yes says the granfather reaching for the box the boy pulls it away saying good then go fuck yourself these are my cookies.

:)

And there i was..... shredding documents at Enron and I get a PAPER CUT!!!??? Imagine that!!!

I used to date a cultist with a learning disability... she worshipped SANTA!!!!

I have a unique collection of my own underwear... if you hold them up in a dark room and shine a light through the holes... you can make out constellations....

8 buns to a package but 12 hotdogs... i have to do the math and find the lowest common denominator for this damn cook out!!

If you have sex with a siamese twin joined at the vagina... does that count as a threesome??

if I said you hadda beautiful body... would you lift the restraining order?

I want my own cheering section during sex... and commentators... " Well Bob it looks like hes trying something different this time.. a different maneuver... OHhhh tough break... That's GOTTA hurt!!!".....

I used to have a job as a translator for foriegn mimes.... I would basically shake my head and shurg.... 

If you kidnap someone and hold them for 6 months or more... can you claim them as dependants on your taxes?

I once got pulled over in Candyland... " Sir do you realize how fast you were going?" ... .. " I dunno officer... Blue? "

That is all  :)